Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
