Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
