The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
