Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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