There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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