you have to choose: penises or morals?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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