about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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