I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
