super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
whose parrot is this?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
