wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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