He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
