Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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