Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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