Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
