i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
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Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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