you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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