We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Found the puke drawer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
