Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
