dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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