i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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