So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
