I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My ass is underappreciated
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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