The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
