hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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