You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
