just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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