a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
