I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
