Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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