HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
time to smoke my breakfast
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
