We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
