I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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