Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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