You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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