playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
