if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize