Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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