Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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