Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
