I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
