I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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