Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
