Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
