Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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