This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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