She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize