someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
