i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
