This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
