You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
