I got chris browned last night
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
