If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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