i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
