he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
