the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I looked at my own cervix.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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